Humans of all ages tend to ascribe positive qualities to the group that they belong to and negative qualities to other groups. Without guidance, children are likely to develop biased attitudes from exposure to negative racial stereotypes, racial disparities, and segregation. Take these steps to guide them.
In our field of psychology, the research is clear. Children as young as three years of age notice and
comment on differences in skin color. Humans of all ages tend to ascribe positive qualities to the group
that they belong to and negative qualities to other groups. Without guidance, children are likely to
develop biased attitudes from exposure to negative racial stereotypes, racial disparities, and
segregation.
We wrote Something Happened in Our Town: A Child's Story about Racial Injustice to help
diverse parents and children have an ongoing conversation about racial injustice. The tips that follow
were adapted from the notes to parents we included at the back of the book. Find additional resources
from the book here. Check out the conversation we had with EmbraceRace here.
1. Take the time to address your
child’s questions or comments.
Do not ignore or sidestep them with blanket
reassurances (e.g., “We are all the same
inside”). If you aren’t prepared to give an
answer, validate the question and return
with an answer at a later time.
2. If your child makes a negative
racial comment, ask him or her in
a nonjudgmental tone, “What
makes you say that?”
Your child’s answer may provide an
opportunity to counter generalizations or to
increase empathy.
3. Encourage multidimensional views of
others.
Preschoolers tend to view people as all good or all
bad. You can help your child to recognize human
complexity and learn to consider both similarities
and differences between people in appearance,
feelings, preferences, and behaviors.
4. Be prepared to talk about what your
children see and hear.
They may need help in understanding community
events or news stories.
5. Use children's literature to introduce
children to diverse individuals and social
justice issues.
Ask questions to help children develop empathy for
characters who encounter racism or other types of bias.
6. Clearly state that you believe it is wrong
to treat someone differently or unfairly
because of their race.
Affirm that you believe that racial injustice is still a
problem.
7. Balance your acknowledgement of
the reality of racism with messages
about hope for change, the
availability of help, and the value of
activism.
8. Make a rule that it's not acceptable to tease or reject someone based
on identity.
If teasing occurs, try to find out what underlies the behavior. If the conflict is really about another
issue, help your child recognize and resolve that issue. If the underlying reason is discomfort with
differences, plan activities to try to overcome that.
