Recently, a neighbor's knock on my door sent my heart racing. For as long as I can remember, a knock on the door has triggered panic. It accelerates my thoughts into a spiral, and has me calculating the fastest escape route, just in case. As a child, a knock on the door could mean being taken away and separated from my mom and brother.
Growing up undocumented, a knock on the door carried immense weight—I could see it in the terror on my mother’s face whenever someone knocked (a fear she has to this day, even though she no longer has a reason to be afraid because she has obtained a legal status). She always warned us to never open the door or speak about our status, not even to our closest friends or teachers. That was her way of helping us survive. I understand now.
At nine years old, I experienced a panic attack when my mother was pulled over during a routine traffic stop. I was afraid of the police. My chest tightened, and I struggled to breathe as I translated for her, telling the officer it was my mistake—I had given her the wrong directions. We were let off with a warning, but as soon as we drove off, I broke down sobbing. I feared the worst: the police discovering us and taking her away.
This fear rooted itself deeply within me, shaping how I see the world, how I move through it and how I hide from it.
Even now after twenty four years living in this country and with temporary legal status (DACA), the fear of ICE lingers. Trauma like this doesn’t simply fade. It’s a wound hard to heal from. I live with PTSD symptoms to this day, scanning my surroundings for potential threats and always trying to be ‘prepared’. The anxiety never goes away.
I remind myself I am no longer in survival mode and deserve to be free from the fear that kept me hidden in so many ways. Now, I feel it's my responsibility to speak louder than I ever have. No family or child should have to live in this kind of fear or bear the lasting scars it leaves behind.
I believe community and knowledge will be our greatest strength these next couple of years. We are not alone in our struggles. Knowing our rights can make all the difference. Let’s get informed. Let’s organize. Let's speak up. We need to fight for a future where no families and children live in fear of a knock on the door.
Juntos Jamas Vamos a Ser Vencidos. Together we will never be defeated.
Whether at home, in the workplace, or at school, knowing your rights and taking proactive steps can make a profound difference. Together, we can stand in solidarity and advocate for the dignity, safety, and well-being of all individuals, regardless of immigration status.
