Thoughts on culturally relevant parenting and teaching.
Cultures vary in the ways they interact with children. This informs how students interact with each other, with adults at school (i.e., are they raised to see adults as peers, caretakers, authority figures, or a combination of several roles), and with the processes used to acquire and analyze new information.
How, then, do we culturally socialize children to be their very best selves? I’d like to begin with a scenario followed by a question or prompt. If you’ve had or have a young child in your life, whether as a parent, teacher, or caretaker of any kind, I’m guessing the scenario will be pretty familiar!
Scenario: It is lunch time and a wonderful array of food is spread across the table. The smells are enticing and the young person the food is intended for really needs to sit and eat before she melts down from lack of food. The trouble is, she’s engrossed in play, has told you she isn’t hungry, and has already ignored your first attempt.
Question/Prompt: Consider for a moment how you might try again to bring the child to the table to eat. Now read the options below.
As a Latina growing up in El Barrio (Spanish Harlem in NYC), I was surrounded by Puerto Rican and African American/ Black families. If I misbehaved on the corner, at the local bodega (grocery store), or in front of my Catholic school, the punishment would be no different than if I were in my home. Picture a stern face with narrowed eyes on a short brown Puerto Rican woman either reaching for one of her flip flops or giving a tiny pinch on the shoulder, muttering something in Spanish about cutting it out. No one around me found my mother’s parenting style odd. Sometimes, she even got a nod of approval.
Go back and reread the options above. This time, consider your reactions to the approach(es) you would not use. Have you heard these approaches used in schools or in other communities where you’ve visited? Do you find these alternative approaches too punitive? Too passive?
It is sometimes difficult to recognize your own cultural patterns until they are challenged by others. I vividly recall the time I was reprimanded by the White, Jewish parents I worked for while in college. I wanted their son to brush his teeth so he could eat and then we could play. I used a bribing strategy my Latino parents successfully used for all six of their children. I told the three-year-old that I couldn’t play with him until he brushed his teeth and got dressed. The child did what I wanted him to do.
However, it was clearly not okay with the parents who were listening on the intercom. They told me he didn’t have to brush his teeth or get dressed if he didn’t want to. That was the first time I was confronted with two unfamiliar child rearing practices: the idea that the child had a say on how the day would unfold and that my interactions with the child might be monitored on an intercom without my knowing it.
During my years as an early childhood educator in a progressive school I experienced many more unfamiliar child rearing practices. I picked up on subtle differences in cultural patterns used by parents and caretakers at drop off in the morning and during pick up in the afternoon.
For example, regardless of the school’s philosophy on how best to help children deal with separation anxiety at the beginning of the year, I noticed that many Black/African American parents tended to connect with other adults while their child explored the room and many White European parents navigated the room closely with their child. Neither of these practices is better than the other, just different.
During clean-up time you might have heard me ask some children if they wanted to pick up blocks or playdough, but then I would direct another group to put the puzzles away on the shelf. I often had a few children who needed me to place a toy in their hands, point to the area where it belonged, and then smile to them when it was accomplished, letting them know I was pleased with their efforts.
Our cultural patterns also show up when we are learning strategies and approaches to solving school-related problems, interacting with others, and functioning in classroom settings. Field-independent and field-dependent learners are terms that describe a cognitive style of learning. European Americans tend to be field-independent learners who like individual recognition, are comfortable approaching tasks without the need to consult with others, and are self-reliant.
On the other hand, students of color (African American, Arab American, Latino/a, Native American, and many Asian American students) tend to be field-dependent learners. These students generally prefer to work with others to achieve a collective or common goal, are greatly influenced by the teacher, and make sense of details in relationship to surrounding information.
children steeped in an individualistic approach. So might leaving the food at the table, ignoring the child, and moving onto other things because you feel confident that the child will eat when she is ready.
Other children are more familiar with a direct approach, where options are limited or not even offered. “Come sit down and eat” and “I need you to come to the table; it is time for you to eat” offer clarity from the adult and makes her feel safe because she knows what the adult expects.
Many students need modeling until they become familiar with the expectations of the classroom. This is most true for the field-dependent student in a classroom or school that celebrates individual work. Taking the child by the hand, leading her to the table, sitting her down, and telling her to begin eating shapes the story for the child about what is to happen, when it is to happen, and how. Reprimanding the child for disobeying indicates who is in charge. In my progressive classroom, I might say to a child who is used to this approach, “That is not okay to do. When I ask you to come to the table, I need you to come to the table.”
Teachers should consider ways to help all students thrive in school. This requires work on the part of educators to understand the culture of each student because the cultural beliefs and patterns used at home will influence the student’s behavior and interactions at school. Teachers should welcome families as partners in their students’ learning; they know their children best.
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Latina, Lesbian, Educator, Mommy of two. Committed to enriching her life with a diverse village of people who will share their stories.
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